My Dearest/Closest Pet.

I once had a pet rock. Her name was Bernice; she wasn't the most confident rock, but she was the rockiest. I often thought it was because I fed her gravel every Friday. On the eve of the 4th friday, I walked into the yard, only to find my brother FRANK feeding HER the LAST crumbs from a box of Saltine Crackers. I tried to (excuse the pun) fish them out, but it was too late.
Bernice happily munched her last snack.
I'm a nice brother, though (unlike SOME people) so I forgave Frank and moved on with my life. Bernice was my first, last, and most favorite rock, but hey: we had some good times.